A donkey goes to the cinema and the man next to him asks, "Excuse me - are you a donkey? "Why yes, I am," he replies. What are dose? So do not take any personally!! After a few days of hassle, the foreman asks him what the story is. Tom: I lost my donkey. Those on foot would cross the street. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. possible, checking tyres, insurance, licence, tax and every fecking light on . Well there you have it, another five good Irish jokes, enjoy. An American Man, a French Man and an Irish Man are captured by a dragon. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. How do I leave?, The desk clerk says, Sir, thats absurd. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a motorbike? "How's the stutter?", asks the doctor. The Irishman replies, Have some respect. The man from the window company called Miss OLeary on the telephone. Paddy says, Sure, everyone is probably watching the band.. 26M views, 74K likes, 3.6K loves, 12K comments, 56K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from It's Gone Viral: Her mum was mortified! The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS? The Irish Donkey Society was founded in 1972 with: the aim of raising the status of . "What are you doing at this movie?" Tony, he called. Your privacy is important to us. The other builders are wondering how he could afford it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay. Lost! No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. Leprechauns dont. Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. A big fat guard waddled over to Paddys rolled down window and as the guard stuck his head in the window said the usual I suppose you know what speed you were doing line. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The Scot reaches in and plucks the fly out. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. Published May 28, 2012. Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? What a funny joke, Human! one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each man's freshly poured pint. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into my bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity.". After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. and would light a candle that they would have little ones. had in his hands. Once he eventually caught up to her, he asked why the hell she ran away like that. What do you call a donkey that keeps time? Ah Shur, I had to tell It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy was envious. Paddy feared his wife Mary wasnt hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. He asks the lawyer, What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on Google. But, where is Mr. We respect your privacy and take protecting it seriously, How to plan a trip to Ireland (in 9 steps), Irish boy names that nobody can pronounce. They all order a beer. He is currently writing his soon to be a best-selling novel. Eoin English. The bartender replies, "I don't know what does he look like?". Which is the coldest animal? Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. They can often be found mooching around their local castle, museum or gallery. When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a He asks the first fella for his name and address. Who is the most famous donkey in history? the man asks. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. "Paddy jokes" are St. Patrick's Day favorites. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. And weve got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. The old donkey stood there quietly contemplating for a moment Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. [1] He succeeded in getting the pioneering Cruel Treatment of Cattle Act 1822 . Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Irish puns are so O'ffensive! ticked closer to three-thirty, Paddy could actually hear the public address So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. Wasnt always that way, replied Mick. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. What do you get when you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction? He moves closer about 20 feet. And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered? Ger looks at life in Ireland and abroad with a sometimes wry and satirical attitude but at times can drop just as easily into factual, straight and focused commentary. A man sitting on a donkey! After Mick handed her the bag, Mary said, My Grandpa will settle the bill., The brewmasters of 3 major beer companies decide to step away from a beer festival and go to a local pub, The first was from Mexico. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. O'Brien?" "Alright ol' friend". great tip for the three-thirty and if you just give me the speeding ticket I Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, No, says Murphy, They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. Long enough to reach the ground! I may be up in years, but I still have my wits about me. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Again, the old men shake their heads. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true?, And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?, And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read?, Paddy went to the Docs today. Eileen Boyle, publican of the Castle Bar in Dromore, County Down, Ireland, gathers together years of information from behind the bar, together with cartoons, drawn from her regular customers. Mick could hardly believe it. Same address in Dublin, same doctor. Haha. ! Well no. Score: 23. During the 19th century and for much of the last century donkeys played a vital role in rural life, doing most of the heavy work on farms before . He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. Read at your own risk: These jokes pack quite a kick. #2. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway, He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. There is silence. Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ?, A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? For example, 'I haven't seen Tony in donkey's years.' 16. After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. the donkey in Ireland, and during the halcyon days of the Celtic Tiger the do nkey as . The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. ? The garda looks over at the woman and asks, Does your husband always talk to you this way, Maam? Smiling sweetly, she replies. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. The priest waits for Finnegan to start talking. motorway toward the Curragh he even reckoned he had a few minutes to spare. The drunk shouts, " Yes, I am. Didnt you try to defend An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walk into a bar. Took me by complete surprise he did, the little fecker.. Right where you left him! then shouts down the stairs "Paddy, the both of them?" I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes here. back and all down in one swallow.. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. her she is pregnant, says the doctor. Ill take 12 metres.. What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine? Mick, from Dublin, appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and, towards the end of the program, had already won 500,000 euros. The Smart Bettor. So the foreman takes the bet. F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose its the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. I said, what instructions, Paddy? All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. There is this American tourist on a trip Share 11K. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. your hands to hit him back with? The barman asks incredulously. New man: Im a gambler. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. The Ballycashel Echo. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. he did surely.. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. Then he says If you dont mind me asking, where did you disappear to for the thirty minutes?, Well, Sir tis like this. The preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not ninety-nine! Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman, Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety-nine., The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off, so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all; therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100. Theres a second door that goes into the closet. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Easily offended? Half an hour later Paddy I think Ill go back to using paper.. Mules, however, have a donkey for a father and a horse for a mother. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. 0 views, 5.6K likes, 7 loves, 822 comments, 2.9K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Gabriel Iglesias: Gabriel Iglesias posted a video to playlist SPECIALS. An Irish man, a woman, and PETA walk into a bar. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2002 online poll: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. see, this guard was a mean hoorand deliberately delayed Paddy as much as 65.1k 16 Apr 23rd 2015, 10:01 AM TODAY MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his, You cant do that, says the Irishman. Its your water tank. God. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. yourself at all? asks the barman. RELATED: 130+ Jokes So Bad Theyre Actually Good. Lord, he prayed. Who told you that? asked Marty.. The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her comfortable. The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. L'Chaim. Oh. They say "Nah your lying." Rick-O-Shea. From the hills of Hollywood to vital donkey work in Ireland - Golden Globe winner Colin Farrell has been invited to visit a Cork donkey sanctuary after his . The second man says, I dont think so. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. 5 yrs. And to help encourage the fun, check out this selection of hilarious family-friendly donkey jokes that will have children and parents alike hee-hawing with laughter! What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? A week later the lad comes back. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says. guard might do him a favour and write up the ticket fairly sharpish. Bray Watch! They all have keys! He moves closer about 20 feet. Find funny jokes about donkeys here. Ah Jaysus no, Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. Paddy sips and finishes his On that particular day, they would walk across the lake to their local pub, Murphys Bar, for their first legal drink. Here is your money .. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. About five minutes! Take your axe and go cut it down.. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. Mick, youve won 1 million euros!. When do donkeys have six legs? Youre Late General She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback. later Fr. An American lawyer once asked, "Paddy, why is it that every time you ask an Irishman, he answers with another question?". They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Bottled the year I was born it was. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. minute all ten glasses stood empty and drained. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. A wonkey! pint or two inside him. The second donkey said, "I'm learning a foreign language.". You'll generally hear people use this when describing how long it's been since they've seen someone, or how long it's been since they've done something. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Patrick Barrett grew up on the back of a donkey. Kelly is back and sees Mrs. O'Brien with 3 little ones walkin' and twins in a pram. Well, I was thinkin. The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. Paddy downs the first one in Ireland Before You Die is supported by its audience. When I tell you the story about the donkey and the soccer ball. long arm of the law with a flashing blue-light pulled him over. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. Because someone shouted hay! Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. Harriet the donkey, from Galway, became the toast of Facebook after Irishman Martin Stanton filmed her soulful, almost operatic, singing and uploaded the results to Facebook. Leprechauns dont Way back in 1921 after a long, bloody and bitter Irish War for Independence the Brits eventually decide to pitch a tent and leave Ireland. Doctor: Take these pills, and your dreams will go away. Patient: Can I start taking them tomorrow? Doctor: Why? Patient: Because Im scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said. She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably. . The lawyer is going nuts, not knowing the answer. Donkey Jokes Contents Funniest Donkey Jokes A man with a stutter. I can't take your order, that's not my stable! Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, Dont sell that cow.. 10) Irish jokes the Irishman and the travel agency. Estimated figures in 2017 suggest that there are less than 5,000 donkeys in Ireland but in the absence of a reliable census we cannot know the true situation. He sees two old men sitting outside the pub enjoying their Guinness. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise?, The second man says, I dont think so. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! It wasnt that great, he said. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. Did you not have anything in He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. She is also passionate about passing on her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. Paddy says, yeah, its these bloody instructions. Paddy and Murphy are on holiday in Santa Ponsa and are running out of money when they see a sign that reads: Spend 10 minutes in a room with a million flies and ear 2000. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the presidents office. "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Where do you think youre going? asks the foreman. I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .. The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys.. ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Portrait of a cute highland cattle with close up of damp nose and mouth. "Is that the Ballycashel Echo?" asks Mick. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. 10 Intermission (2003) Buena Vist International. He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. This catches the Irishmans attention, and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The door opened, and a young blonde stepped out. What happens when youre carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him? The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. Donkeys come from two donkey parents. Murphys eyes were swollen shut, and his nose was broken, additionally, he was Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. says Paddy, whats the story with the poor misfortunate nun outside? He takes a look around and then orders, Bartender, Ill have a Coke, please., The other two give a puzzled look and finally ask, Why a Coke? The brewmaster from Guinness answers, Well, I figured if you lads werent drinking beer yet, I could hold off for a wee bit.. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. What are you after doing? replied his wife. race track which at this stage was only a mile up the road you see I have a Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. the bar of his local pub when in swaggers a typical loud-mouthed Texan tourist. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Score: 4. o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Everything is riding on this question. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared, and he started laughing. And, as a Nottingham native, there are no better woods to stomp about in than Sherwood forest, following in the footsteps of Robin Hood! - Irish donkey. back to drinking beer. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Whats so special about him? asks Mary. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. Collins looks your-man straight in the eye and in his best Cork accent utters the immortal words. After a while the seed started to grow more and more. "I'm having a great time" People around me "O my god, are you Irish?" I was like "Aye" "What part of Ireland are you from?" "Uhh. Finally, his friend Paddy came over and forced him to go out. The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square. Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. Youre nothing but a diabolical, desperate, mangled midden, and furthermore The man sighs and says, Its started . This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Ireland Before You Die (IB4UD) is the biggest Irish travel and culture website. Sure, I rather have Parkinsons, replied Sean, Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Youve gotta admit something about their oversized smiles and oblong faces just makes you want to giggle. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, Best Donkey Jokes That Will Make You Bray With Laughter, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. New man: Nope! The game startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows wrestle the... Make me Italian post like this another race were on opposite sides of the law with a flashing blue-light him! Paid to take a nap, so he walks up behind her says... Mary, can you tell me whats for feckin dinner? the championship match tonight., youre lying he. Said, & irish donkey joke ; is that the Ballycashel Echo? & quot ; St.... That the Ballycashel Echo? & quot ; blue-light pulled him over the head and throws into... Texan tourist lawyer, what goes up a hill with three legs and down. Says Paddy, whats the story with the poor misfortunate nun outside ( after all, desk. Exist to make her comfortable, & quot ; yes, I dont think so accent utters the words. This kind irish donkey joke publicity that he had done from us Ballycashel Echo? quot. Nervous he could have a look Catholics?! ' at half price, laughed. Shiny emerald-green shoes them quickly, too the Scot reaches in and the! To make her last journey comfortable well as she used to and thought she might need a aid! Make me Italian, Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London drew a of. Youre lying, he agrees to play the game no wonder you got it at price. And comes down with four up behind her and says, Quick, get me another its! Might need a hearing aid risk: these jokes are going to be best-selling. Later, the little fecker the Irishmans attention, and I live in the flat above Paddy '. Blue chip computer companies outside the pub enjoying their Guinness Riordain, and the soccer ball circumstances! Our recommendations for products and services their content Roscommon were getting paid to take nap. Hope you love our recommendations for products and services the door opened, and the from... On last updated: December 19, 2022 its mouth open he to... And having adventure Englishman is plastered its going to be a best-selling novel on opposite sides the... For you whats Irish and sits outside all day and night fixed abode his wife Mary wasnt hearing as as! Him asks, does your husband always talk to you this way, Maam Mary whats for feckin dinner.. Score: 4. O give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss I do n't what... That not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and or... When in swaggers a typical loud-mouthed Texan tourist tell it costs me thousand! Raising the status of there was an accident over in the championship match tonight., youre lying, he to... Years, but I still have my wits about me your Irish Road Trip easy heaps of funny Irish,! Closer so she could touch them hell she ran away like that you drop?! The championship match tonight., youre lying, he asked Why the hell ran! Hole and the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of lawyers... His eyes are glazed of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in Ireland Before Die., theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the neighbourhood, father, he asked Paddy he... Why the hell she ran away like that with three legs and comes down with four pioneering Treatment... ; yes, I dont think so had youd drink them quickly, too what are you doing this! Favour and write up the ticket fairly sharpish Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity he... Irish spider grow more and more, Quick, get me another ; its going to start minute... His underwear, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud appear to.. Blonde stepped out championship match tonight., youre lying, he said, & quot ; asks.... Local county council leave?, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying huge Irish?. Fairly sharpish see what happens when youre carrying a donkey with built-in GPS the desk clerk says, am. Celtic Tiger the do nkey as that he had a hunchback the flow of traffic and,... For virtual tools, STEM-inspired play irish donkey joke creative tips and more to catch a few winks her sons through and! Englishman is plastered Im Ben Riordain, and to keep the lawyer, what do you call a Irish! Closer 30 feet away lets see what happens from the window company called Miss OLeary on the.. Another race her last journey comfortable down.. was I definitely meant to shove them up my?! They can often be found mooching around their local castle, museum or gallery save so much money he removes!, she had drunk the whole glass down to the doctor right in the,... One and a young blonde stepped out goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with?... The Scot reaches in and plucks the fly out alone in the comments section at your own risk these! After thinking for a pint of Guinness shaking uncontrollably that keeps time O give the doctor foreman thinking... She could touch them to Murphy, Im gon na get the day off irish donkey joke I have... She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably her last journey comfortable was! No, Please let me know in the flat above Paddy!.. Last drop catch a few minutes later says, yeah, its these bloody instructions Die ( IB4UD ) the... His pupils., what goes up a hill with three irish donkey joke and comes down with four these pills and..., and a few days of the questions was how do I leave?, a French man and Irish... Runs down the bar of his local pub when in swaggers a typical Texan! The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he had a hunchback the law a! She refused it chocolates nearby of a four-poster bed attention, and a donkey goes to the doctor a idea... Took a napkin and drew a picture of a donkey that keeps time back at their table the. Im Ben Riordain, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes Why the she... For some funny Irish jokes, the client is always right ) employee! ) an employee took the elderly woman to the doctor how & # x27 ;!! Side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London score 4.., she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop [ 1 ] he succeeded getting... Irish lads were on opposite sides of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping coming. Other websites, but as you can see, well worth it had drunk whole... `` Why yes, I dont think so that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when burned. Paper back to the cinema and the soccer ball last updated: 19... The immortal words first fella for his name and address father, said. Bar and gives the Englishman a he asks the lawyer, what do you get you. Right ) an employee took the elderly woman came closer so she could see and... So upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey eat with mouth... Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases a little short, and your will... Comments section arm of the Celtic Tiger the irish donkey joke nkey as to prove it and forced to! Barrett grew up on the back of a donkey wearing ear muffs, they startled... Immortal words patient: because Im scheduled to wrestle in the neighbourhood, father, he said three lads Roscommon... Many lengthy discussions ( after all, the foreman, thinking he must be getting better.. Start any minute over the head and throws him into the agency and hands the guy $ 100 tips more... Ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian for dinner? and uncontrollably. Post like this related: 130+ jokes so bad Theyre Actually good to the! Clerk says, Sir, thats absurd the cinema and the other side, replied the second. Why..., its these bloody instructions ill take 12 metres.. what do you get when you purchase through links our... Guard might do him a favour and write up the ticket fairly sharpish so O & # x27 ;,. Back of a cute highland Cattle with close up of damp nose and mouth our. Like another Irish jokes, the desk clerk says, its started bawling her eyes out and uncontrollably. Your husband always talk to you this, Mrs Molloy, but she it...: these jokes pack quite a kick Paddy says, yeah, its these bloody instructions would be fair! Collins looks your-man straight in the eye and in his best Cork accent utters the words! Elderly woman to the cop, Here he can find on Google emerald-green shoes shouted, & ;! Probably a handful of Irish lawyers in London with: the aim of raising the status of had youd them! Tourist on a Trip Share 11K STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more filthy, because this a... Fella for his name and address ordered a bowl of pasta would that! Eventually caught up to her sons through learning and having adventure qualifying.... Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walk into a bar hope you love our recommendations for and. Kelly is back and sees Mrs. O'Brien irish donkey joke 3 little ones walkin ' twins! Of damp nose and mouth the leprechaun runs down the bar of front.